Good Inside: The new Sunday Times bestselling gentle parenting guide for fans of Philippa Perry

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Good Inside: The new Sunday Times bestselling gentle parenting guide for fans of Philippa Perry

Good Inside: The new Sunday Times bestselling gentle parenting guide for fans of Philippa Perry

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The rationale behind this is pseudoscientific babble. Kids cannot regulate their emotions well (fact). Therefore, you need to help them (okay). And if you don’t do it the right way, the kid will grow up emotionally unhealthy and be unable to have functional adult relationships (whaaaat…?!). However, it shortly dives off the deep end, making the parent completely responsible for the emotional world of their children.

Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

I’ve never had an adult come to my private practice and say, “Well, my parents were just such great parents that well… They got rid of all the hard feelings. I only feel happy!” But I have had hundreds of adults show up with essentially no coping skills for hard feelings. They are no better off at age 35 than when they were in early childhood regarding their ability to regulate frustration, jealousy, disappointment, sadness, and not-good-enough feelings. Frustration intolerance, crying, and perfectionism are also about controlling the environment. Your goal isn’t to help get your child out of these feelings, but rather to help your child continue to progress through them. It’s good for a child to be able to continue to work even in the midst of a certain amount of frustration. Sit with your child, share stories of your own experiences, and help them feel safe to be in their feelings. Boundaries are not what we tell kids not to do; boundaries are what we tell kids what we will do.” Behavior is a window But maybe parenting shouldn’t revolve around traditional discipline methods and charts. And this Blink is here to prove it. Embrace the multiplicity of your roles as a parent. You can be fun and authoritative at the same time. You should be many things at once for your child. Understand when your child is having an unformulated experience (like listening to a vacuum for the first time and not knowing what its purpose is and being afraid). You would never dismiss an adult’s feelings of fear and anxiety so why is it normalized to do this with a child? Their feelings and thoughts are just as real and go unregulated meaning they are in even more need of compassion and connection constantly.


Building connections is an ongoing process. This isn’t a fix-it-and-forget-it situation. Connections need to be established, maintained, and grown. Saskaroties ar kaprīžu lēkmēm, vecākiem ir jācenšas palikt mierīgiem, jo mūsu bērnu nespēja sevi noregulēt izraisa mūsos vainas apziņu. Ārēja vainošana vienmēr ir saistīta ar iekšēju vainas izjūtu – ja brīnāmies, kas notiek ar bērnu, tad vienlaikus domājam, kas notiek ar mums pašiem. Var gadīties, ka mēs pat padomājam: “Es neprotu audzināt savu bērnu.” Tā ir sāpīga doma, tik ļoti sāpīga, ka mēs bieži cenšamies apturēt bērna kaprīzes lēkmi, lai vienlaikus pārtrauktu paši savas ciešanas. Tāpēc nākamreiz, kad jūsu bērns sāks trakot, pirms ķeraties pie kāda cita paņēmiena, pasakiet sev: “Ar mani viss ir kārtībā. Ar manu bērnu viss ir kārtībā. Es varu ar to tikt galā.” Raising children with the good-inside approach is ultimately about love and respect. Most behaviors that children exhibit should be easily understandable. After all, we have many of those same behaviors even as adults. Recognize that behavior isn’t the problem and that changing behavior isn’t the ultimate goal. Your child is good inside. There’s a reason they’re behaving the way they are. Your approach to their behavior has to start with connection. Your job is to hold boundaries. And by doing these things, you’re creating an environment that allows your child to feel safe, loved, and good on the outside. Genres

Good Inside Summary of Key Ideas and Review - Blinkist Good Inside Summary of Key Ideas and Review - Blinkist

I told my friend that the book is kind of a convergence between Den Siegel and Brené Brown’s work. A little bit of No Drama Discipline and Whole Brain Child mixed with a healthy dose of Daring Greatly and Gifts of Imperfection (I highly recommend all four of those, by the way). However, if I do have a meltdown myself, I should regroup with my child later. We need to debrief the birthday thing, and then do a Repair ceremony where I apologize for being upset. We have now spent at least 90 minutes of the day just hashing over our emotions related to this birthday party, plus the emotional residue of all the unpleasantness has tainted the entire day. Parenting in ‘two things are true’ mode can help guide us to becoming sturdier adults… I can say no to screen time and my child can be upset about it; I can be angry that my child lied and be curious about what felt too scary to tell me; I can see my child’s anxieties as irrational and still be empathetic around what she needs. And perhaps most powerful of all: I can yell and be a loving parent, I can mess up and repair, I can regret things I’ve said and do better in the future.” Know your job Nepievēršot uzmanību tam, kas notiek dziļāk, zem virsējā slāņa, mēs nespēsim mainīt spēkus, kas ierosina bērna uzvedību. Tas būtu līdzīgi kā nolikt spaini vietā, kur no griestiem tek ūdens, nevis meklēt cēloni, kāpēc tas tek. Ja pievēršamies galvenokārt uzvedībai, mēs zaudējam iespēju palīdzēt saviem bērniem attīstīt prasmes, kā arī palaižam garām iespēju raudzīties uz saviem bērniem kā uz cilvēkiem, nevis uzvedību kopumā. We want to prepare our kids to cope with emotions, not protect them from emotions they will inevitably experience. Resilience over happiness. 5. Tell the truth.

Part Two: The Emotional Health of the Child

Book Summary: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday & Stephen… The Daily Stoic is a book written by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman that provides a daily dose of wisdom and inspiration from the ancient philosophy of Stoicism. The book…

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